Friday, February 20, 2015

3 minutes

Finding time for prayer is always a challenge. 
If I am honest, it is almost noon and I have prayed for 3 minutes today.  I prayed for 3 minutes as I sat against my son’s bedroom door, so the 3 year old in there would not come out before his 3 minute “take a break” was over.  So to be completely honest I did not pray for a full three minutes, because as soon as I sat down to block the door I remembered my fresh cup of coffee getting cold downstairs, on the dining room table, surrounded by the laundry I was folding when said three year old committed the automatic “take a break” infraction of kicking someone.  So I asked the 13 year old to carefully bring me my coffee.  Then I sipped my coffee as I prayed the remaining time.  I prayed for almost three minutes while being told repeatedly by the incarcerated three year old that the bubble gum he stuffed in the keyhole of the door two days ago, was indeed still in the keyhole.


So what did I pray for during my 3 minute guard duty?  I prayed for faith.  Not for patience, not for a break, not for all the roads to be cleared so at least 5 of my children would return to school tomorrow.  No, I asked my Father for the gift of faith. You see during the past few years I have begun to take credit for my faith, and over the past several months God has been showing me faith only comes from Him.  My ability to have faith in Him is a gift from Him and not something I can manufacture on my own.  And in taking credit for my own faith it seems my faith is much smaller than it has ever been.  I am not talking about belief, my belief in God is intact, I know Jesus is the Son of God, and the Holy Spirit is my Comforter, Teacher and Convictor.  Yet my faith has been in jeopardy.


The faith I am asking God for is the faith Abraham had, faith that does not ask for the details of where I am going before the journey.  I want to stop trying to get God to show me what is ahead, to not seek human assurances, to stop trying to figure out the right formula for getting what I want:  fasting, praying, serving so God will bless me in the way I want and answer my prayers the way I want.  I am asking Him for the faith to be still and trust Him, to trust Him to change my heart, to trust Him to love me, to know He loves me, and faith that calls me to pursue a relationship with God above all, a faith that is not afraid of the future and what He will bring into it.  


Even though my 3 minute prayer was all I had time for today, God began answering it the minute I sat down, and sighed.  Because He has shown me what I am lacking, where I am missing the mark, and I know He is guarding what I faith I have given back to Him and He is giving more to me.  

During this season of my life there will probably be many more 3 minute time outs with God, and tonight I will take the time to thank Him for keeping what I have entrusted to Him, and for guiding me as I take care of these He has entrusted to me.

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